Anxiety is not a force to be reckoned with. You can underestimate its ability to control you for so long, until it actually consumes you whole without any fair warning. Everyone says, “Get a grip!” or like, “What’s wrong with you? Can’t you just be happy for once?” or even better, “You have nothing to worry about, stop complaining! Be happy!” You see, people with anxiety comprehend things a little bit differently. You tell us one thing, we’ll believe it means something entirely opposite. Not only that, but we’re really creative by the way we transform and mix different ideas in our heads from what you previously stated. It’s a recipe for disaster, and it only gets worse when these ideas coincide with our emotions. We understand that you probably do not relate to what we feel, so we create a wall to distance ourselves from sharing to you what we are feeling. Even if we do decide to tell you how we feel, we only dread at the thought of becoming a burden or a nag when we want to open up ourselves to you.
Anxiety will make you cross your mind too many times before making a decision that it will finally drive you to the point of crying everything out. You ask, “Is there anything to make you feel better?” and the answer: Crying. Sometimes it’s the only way to escape from all of the pressure. It’s not a pretty sight, but it helps. You do not force joy upon the moment someone has an anxiety attack., but instead, let them express what they want to say whatever it is that was bothering them, even if it is unfounded and unreasonable. Every tear matters and sometimes, if not every time, someone needs to let them know it’s okay to be a little selfish. It’s OKAY to be a little selfish. It is not always a walk in the park getting someone with anxiety to instantly feel better, but if you truly show that we are worth it to you, we will come back around.
We won’t ask you to save us or to heal us in our moment of chaos, but we will ask you to be honest with your patience by listening to us. The worst we ever fear is putting you into a position where we make you feel bad for the things we say, and that ultimately breaks our hearts. If that turns into the case, that is a problem that must be addressed immediately.
Unfortunately, anxiety does not fade away forever. It has a twisted way of creeping back up again without our control. We want to talk to you about our feelings and you say, “What? This again? I thought we solved this issue last time? Aren’t you better now? Don’t you know there’s nothing to worry about it?” Of course we are better, but that doesn’t stop us from having anxiety still. Anxiety has a funny way of telling us “otherwise” or “yea, but remember the way this happened or the way this person said this and did that?” and you feel like shit all over again, because remember, anxiety has this magical power of webbing complex thoughts in all sorts of directions in our minds. It makes us believe that everything we thought we had figured out and felt happy about is now suddenly wrong and terrible.
Maybe it’s our fault we do this unto ourselves, and maybe it’s just the way that we are. Who knows? We certainly have many answers we can reason with, but which one do we choose? You can try telling someone with anxiety to solve their issues as much as possible, but it wouldn’t be so bad to hear for once that the way we feel is not an ugly flaw that must be fixed and thrown away, but a beautiful trait that blesses us to connect with people stronger and happier?